MENOPAUSAL SYMPTOMS AND THEIR IMPACT ON SEXUAL FEELINGS AND INTIMACY

Posted in Hormonal on April 21st, 2009

Discussions on sex after menopause tend to focus on one aspect above all others — the physical changes to the vaginal lining, which becomes thinner, less acidic, and more easily damaged with age. A compelling argument against this focus, put forward by Germaine Greer in The Change, is that ‘it has been proved time and time again that women’s orgasms do not originate in the vagina and that other forms of love play are more effective in pleasuring women … if she is one of the many women who have been fucked when they wanted to be cuddled, given sex when what they really wanted was tenderness and affection, the prospect of more of the same until death do her part from it is hardly something to cheer about.’ Granted the truth of this, there may be times when vaginal sex or masturbation is sought by women, in which case it is not much fun feeling as dry as the Nullarbor and being about as responsive as a derailed train. Finding the oasis in the desert can be a struggle, though HRT can be very helpful.

Christine was incensed by some friendly advice to ‘use it or lose it’ when she related that sex with her husband was unsatisfactory. ‘How can I use it when it feels like scratching an

open wound?‘ she asked. Once she had faced the need for alternative sources of lubrication, and the vaginal lining became more elastic under the influence of oestrogen cream, a localised form of HRT prescribed by her doctor, Christine lost her fear that sex would hurt, and she started enjoying it again. ‘All I need for good health and a long life is vegetables, fish, laughter and sex, not necessarily in that order,’ she quipped.

Other physical aspects of menopause that can unsettle the desire for sexual intimacy involve changes in skin sensation. Barbara noticed a heightened sensitivity to touch soon after her menopause and literally could not bear the feeling of her nipples being stroked or her clitoris being stimulated, previously pleasurable sensations. ‘I explained this to my husband so he didn’t take it personally, and we agreed it would be a good idea if I discussed it with my doctor. She was very reassuring, explaining that the changing balance of hormones around menopause can have an effect on the sensitive nerve endings in the skin of some women, and that the altered sensation usually passes with time.’

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