LEAVING YOUR CHILDREN SOMETHING TO LOVE BY: SOME GOOD ADVICES FOR TALKING WITH KIDS ABOUT SEX

Posted in General health on May 19th, 2009

In spite of what children say or how they seem to act, if you have raised them in love, they have and know love. They may try to shock you, but in spite of the fact that the boy your daughter is dating has green hair and honks the horn instead of coming to the door, she still has you in her. In spite of the fact that your son is dating a girl who looks as if she might, have invented the words “surly” and “sultry” and puts her gum on the corner of her plate while she eats your Thanksgiving dinner, he has you j” him. Remember that much of your work is already done by how you have loved them and loved each other. That is what will be there in emergency values situations. Another meaning of the term “super marital sex” is that the lesson of your own loving can transcend the moment and provide an infinite lesson of love.

Tell me exactly, in no uncertain terms, what you hope they will do sexually Offer them the use of your home for sex. It’s your choice. They will do it somewhere. Where is up to you. Be explicit and direct. “If you’re going to make out, make out here in your room. It’s safer. Don’t do anything but make out. No intercourse. We won’t interrupt you if you don’t interrupt us when we make out. Of course, we can have intercourse. We’re married.” Don’t let the car, motels, or the homes of less caring or absent parents determine the sexual destiny of your children.

Sexual education does not have to be same-gender-oriented. The “talk to your father” or “go ask your mother” routine is totally unnecessary if both parents are comfortable with sexuality. Your sexual insignia, your genitals, are not prerequisites for sexual educating. As a matter of fact, both parents together are the best arrangement, because you are discussing sex and love education, best illustrated by a model of love and loving. *

The focus in sexual and love education must be on “do’s” and not “don’ts.” Presenting a list of fears and sanctions against sexual behaviors can result in a list of “sounds interesting, I should try that.” Give them ideas of what to do. “Touch, hold, kiss, and fondle” is much more intriguing than “don’t have sex until you’re married.” There are two exceptions to this focus on the “do.” Always teach two “don’ts” along with the “do’s.” Don’t have intercourse until you are married, and don’t ever hurt anyone else.

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