YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WIVES’ SEXUALITY: VIBRATING TO ORGASM: ELECTRICAL THRILLS

Posted in General health on May 18th, 2009

I love it, really love it. It’s fast, easy, efficient. No mess, no fuss. Ã always come. Plug it in, turn it on, and it turns you on. The vibrator set me free.

WIFE

I hate the damn thing. Sometimes she wants me to use it on her. I can hear her using it sometimes. Buzz, buzz, buzz. What does she need me for anyway? She says she has better orgasms with her vibrator than with me. The damn thing has three speeds. It probably has an overdrive. I just hope she doesn’t use it near water. If she does, when she comes, she’ll go.

HUSBAND

Invention number two in the quest for quick, convenient female orgasms was the vibrator, an electrical or battery-operated device used to apply direct stimulation to the Ñ area. One sex therapist called it the greatest discovery for women, perhaps as important for sex as the discovery of Pompeii was to world history.

The concept of “vibratory orgasm” grew from the myth of the first perspectives of sexuality that men come by friction and women come by vibration. Men seldom report using vibrators on their penis, and, as the man above, sometimes report a form of “gadget envy” regarding this device.

Research indicates that many women find the vibrator enjoyable. Some women report that they find the vibrator painful, annoying, and distracting to their sexual response. It is not likely that there will be a successful invention for making men come quicker. The male inventions have more to do with making genitals bigger and less sensitive.

As an occasional source of fun, variety, and different stimulation, the vibrator seems to be enjoyable for the women in my group of couples. When it, like anything else, becomes a focus, a replacement, even an expediter to save erotic time, problems result.

“He knows the vibrator always works,” reported one wife.

“Now he just tells me to get it out and start it up. It gets me more than ready, saves us time. We always use it now. I can’t remember a time when we just made love the two of us, without the vibrator. It has gotten so I hate the sound of it. I associate it with orgasm, but not with lovemaking. It’s group sex, and one of us is a sex robot. The thing used to be mine; now it seems to be his, some type of sexual power buffer.”

As you consider the husband’s and wife’s sexual response systems in Chapters Six and Seven, you will see the orgasmic focus for women and ejaculatory focus for men that was so strongly emphasized in the early sexual perspectives. This focus resulted in the destructive effort by men to “hold back” and by women to “hurry up.” Men mislearned that pelvic contractions and emission of fluid were synonymous with sexual fulfillment, while women experienced an obligation to have intense, rapid, and multiple orgasms as a sign not only of their own sexual fulfillment but of the sexual skill of their male partner.

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