COPING WITH EPILEPSY/ACCEPTANCE: THE BIGGEST PROBLEM – “IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO EMPHASIZE?”
“There are a couple of things that I would like to emphasize. First, people, particularly parents, have to remember that kids with epilepsy are kids first. You can’t ascribe all of their problems to epilepsy. Kids fight, they sulk, they rebel, they don’t do their chores. Epilepsy is not responsible for all of the child’s problems. Epilepsy can influence and increase the magnitude of the problems. But how the child handles the epilepsy and how the parents handle both epilepsy and the child will influence that child’s future. Much of the counseling I do is the same counseling I would do for any parent of any child who had some problems. I have to help the child and the family deal with the problems in the context of the epilepsy and how everyone has reacted to it.”Another thing I find useful is contracts. My part of the contract is to be open, honest, and available. The other person’s part depends on the goals and on the person’s age. A reward system is always useful, independent of age. Setting small goals which can be achieved is very important. For children, it may be little things like brushing teeth, making their beds, doing one chore. These chores give children an area in which to succeed; they get their reward, and slowly they learn to take responsibility. When the child demonstrates responsibility in one area, then we can begin to work on another. Perhaps they are then ready to begin to assume responsibility for remembering to take their own medication, without the parent reminding, or giving the medication. This is then the child’s first step in assuming control over seizures and over his or her own life.”For adolescents, it may be something in school or small things at home: washing the dishes, cleaning their room. For adults it would be a different goal, but something they clearly could achieve and for which they would receive a reward, even if the reward was just winning my praise. Gradually they learn to take control and to assume responsibility, and ultimately that responsibility is extended to their epilepsy. I don’t think there is any more rewarding job than helping these children and their families achieve their full potential.*239\208\8*
